The Key to Great Management: Parenting
Many years ago, a friend of mine in the company where I worked slumped into a chair in my office and said he had just been fired. Remarkably, he then said it wasn’t our mutual boss’ fault; it was his own fault. He explained that our boss had repeatedly told him what he needed to do to succeed in his job, but my friend said he “just didn’t do it.” Why he didn’t do it is a subject for another day and probably a psychologist, as the issue was not one of capability. But my friend unequivocally placed the blame on himself – entirely.
As a veracious consumer of business books, this same boss would frequently give books to his team for them to read. One such book was entitled: How to Really Love Your Children. He said this was the best book on managing he had ever read. Of course, the book directly speaks to how to parent, not manage your direct reports in a business setting. The book explains the importance of eye contact, and other subtle reassurances a good parent gives their children as well as how to give feedback to your child and how to discipline them. We do these things out of love for our kids; we want them to grow, learn, be secure, happy, and ultimately succeed in their life endeavors.
In many ways, being a manager is not very different. A good manager realizes that his success is dependent on the success – the performance – of those who report to him. A good manager wants her subordinates to grow, to be happy in their job, and to succeed in the organization. And so, a good manager reassures their team with things like eye contact, undivided attention, and frequent, caring feedback.
When our kids make a mistake, we talk with them. Teach them. Tell them what is expected of them. We make sure they have the right skills and tools to succeed. We review their work, but, importantly, we don’t do their work for them.
A good manager does much the same thing. The manager gives both positive and constructive feedback. The manager makes certain their people have the right tools and skills to succeed. If they do not, a good manager fixes the situation as appropriate. A good manager gives frequent feedback, both positive and constructive, just as they would with their child.
Caring feedback makes clear both the positives and the needs for improvement. It explains in a truly supportive way what is needed for success, so that if the person doesn’t do it, like my friend they have themselves to blame – entirely.
The result: a loyal, engaged, and dedicated workforce. A workforce that knows what it takes to succeed and strives to succeed. A workforce that knows the manager really cares, and will help them be their best, but also knows it is ultimately up to them. Just like really good parents.